P: So what could I expect to happen as I identify possible aspects of concealed conditioning in my relationships?
MQ: There are generally three outcomes:
1) Those with whom you are interacting will follow your glorious lead and your interactions will awaken to a degree of purpose, passion and peace formerly unimaginable.
2) Your efforts to edit the unhealthy ego-mind will go completely unnoticed.
3) The lesser-self in the other person will show subtle, severe, or brutal opposition to your
desire to evolve the basis for the relationship.
P: Is there any way that I can know what might happen before I introduce my genuine interest in awakening to my relationships?
MQ: There’s no way to predict what’s going to happen. And what if you decide to introduce this possibility, regardless?
P: That reflects my interest in letting go of ego-generated anguish.
MQ: That’s correct. And if you don’t introduce this possibility, it is easy to predict what is going to happen; You will spend the rest of your life mired in unneeded stress and anxiety. Stabilizing a new basis for your interactions that is not exclusively based on conditioning is a most challenging aspect of the conscious path. When those with whom you are interacting follow your glorious lead to identify and transcend the attachment to the ego, awakened relationships emerge.
EVOLUTIONARY POINTER: Awakened relationships are free from all personal conflict.
MQ: They reveal the possibility of perfection in the human relatedness right in your own living room. We will return to this delightful topic in the final chapter.
P: Are you saving the best for last?
MQ: In a way, yes I am. And, hopefully, by that time the magnificent potential of awakened relationships will seem incredibly reasonable to you.
P: Many relationship therapists will refute the idea that relationships can be free from personal conflict. They seem to be more concerned with conflict management than with its complete resolution.
MQ: This is often the focus when you do not know to look to the root cause - attachment to the ego-mind.
P: This kind of therapy reminds me of a movie in which the arsonist was also the fire-chief!
EVOLUTIONARY POINTER: Though we can all learn from each other, accepting directions on coherency from those who are still floundering in the backwash of the little-self is futile.
MQ: The key to awakening is not to abandon the wisdom of current therapeutic or coaching practices, but to compile them with teachings that have been successfully proven to uncover and release the identification with ego-mind. Integral Psychotherapy, Integral Coaching and The Big Mind/Big Heart Process are noteworthy examples.
P: And what about the other two possible responses you mentioned earlier?
MQ: After years of seeing the hidden agendas and ulterior motives of other so-called ‘caring’ souls, some people may find it hard to trust your awakening. It is good to be aware of this so that you can respond to them with the utmost compassion.
P: Okay, duly noted.
MQ: Therefore, even a small request from you to curb the expression of the malevolent ego may reveal a depth of denial and cynicism that you didn’t know existed. Unfortunately, there are many emotionally intelligent people who are not only circumventing their full potential, but who have yet to reach a stage of development that allows their responses to such a request to be comprehended as rational.
EVOLUTIONARY POINTER: Remember, you have to see the ego-mind in yourself first, before you can identify and transcend its malevolent aspects in your relationships. Judging the ego-mind and shadow in others, because of their presence in you, only deepens everyone’s suffering.
( © - "The Uncommon Path" by Irish author Mick Quinn.)
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