P: If my conversations have long been driven by inherited habituation, I have to wonder about the true nature of my relationships. Could it be that some of those interactions are primarily based upon concealed conditioning?
MQ: Yes, this is entirely likely. As we delve into the area of human relatedness, it is good to note that not all of your relationships are pertinent to your awakening. Those relationships that are critical to your liberation are referred to as relevant relationships. We will be coming back to this distinction in just a bit. You also need to be aware that the malignant ego will strongly resist the clarity you seek about your most important relationships. This is because this aspect of your life is one of its favorite feeding grounds.
P: Thank you. I will remain awake to its objections.
MQ: Many people spend their entire lives in relationships motivated by unexamined and conditioned patterns. Such interactions can be fun, loving, challenging, adventurous and full of great moments, but nonetheless, constricted within the limits of conceptual-free-will.
P: Therefore, holding no hope for the release of the participants from suffering?
MQ: Unfortunately, yes.
EVOLUTIONARY POINTER: You will recognize this as you awaken: Mostly it has not been you relating with the other person, it’s been the ego-mind relating with itself.
MQ: The good news is that this realization also allows the possibility of transforming your existing relationships, and forming new relationships based on authenticity and transparency.
P: What is transparency?
MQ: It means that the motives and intentions for your relatedness are perfectly clear and visible to the people with whom you are interacting.
P: This is great news! But, might I find that some people are so entangled in conditioning that they feel compelled to stand between me and the expression of my most authentic nature in our relationships?
MQ: Well, by indicating that you wish to transcend and included the unhealthy-ego in relationships, you are removing yourself as a source of nourishment. You are taking away its number one food supply: an ear for its relentless complaining and unnecessary conflict. Therefore, you can be certain that because of a person attachment to the ego-mind, they will object to your desire for peace.
P: Why would someone who says they truly love me, stand in the way of my awakening?
MQ: Look at it this way: the role of the ego-mind is to defend the separate-sense-of-self. It primarily does this by supplying that person—its host—with an endless flow of emotional and psychological complexities to ‘deal’ with. That person becomes attached to this flow as exclusively who they are. In awakening, you wish to transcend and include the separate-sense-of-self in your new perspective, and at times, completely drop your exclusive identity with it. So to the ego-mind, awakening to authentic joy looks like death. See why it gets scared?
P: Yes, I see that now. And this can emerge as irrational behaviors in my experiences.
MQ: This is true.
( © - "The Uncommon Path" by Irish author Mick Quinn.)
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